just a really short post before I return back to full-time blogging.

I've realised that my life is very flawed.
And no, that's wasn't a complaining tone.
But yes, it is. I mean my life being flawed.
I know many of you know of my problems, and are trying to help me in your own way, thanks but sometimes I'll feel bad yea. I don't look down on myself though cos I'll just tell myself, if I can't get it now, I'll be sure to be able to get it next time and much much much more. I'll just have to wait. You may say just accept how it is, but for me, I'm not going to. No, I don't like it, won't accept it the way it is and will change it, have to.

I've realised that I owe many people a lot. Without the help of many people, I really don't know how my life is going to be. Without them, I cannot begin to imagine. So when I grow up, I'll repay all of it. Thank you everyone, what I cannot do for you now, I will repay next time even more, because you really do light up my life. I guess I'm blessed to know you and thanks for being there.

I do know many of the people I need to thank won't be reading this but I really mean what I say. So when I grow up, please still be there for me to repay. I know some debts are so great I cannot begin to repay but at least let me do something for you. I know when I can repay you, you will say that only my presence will be needed. But I won't ever forget. Help is something, but getting it when you really need really raises the value. I cannot begin to put my feelings into words. I feel indebted, but in a happy sort of way. It's like these small, small things that all of you do link me to you, and though you feel it's nothing, it really warms my heart. I want to do things for you, so please wait. I cannot do it now, but in the future I will.

I know I was born with nothing in this world, all that I ever want I'ld have to get it myself. But I'm not blaming anyone, maybe this is a blessing in disguise. Like what my mom said, she cannot give me many things, but she will give me education, so next time I can go and get the things I want. What I wasn't born with, I'll get it myself.

And thanks sherena, charmaine, lydia and michelle. You've been trying to help and I have noticed and it warms my heart though you should not do it anymore. Thanks for all the treats thought I cannot give you back now, but I will next time. I'll treat you all to dinner!